Before I get into my nursing journey with Max, I need to state that there are reasons why I’m different with him. They stem from the 2 prior miscarriages & fear that entails, to the fact that he’s my 3rd, and probably my last.  They also stem from the fact that he’s my 3rd and I’m feeling better about this.

With each of my kids I still worried about if they would nurse.  With Max the fear grew a bit more.  I was offered again to try and vbac, I tried to wait and see how he was doing, but after my doctors advice, we decided to schedule him a week early.

His birth was the best of the 3.  Not because I love him more, but because I knew what to expect, and I never had to be without him.  In recovery he nursed well, but not as great at his brothers did.  For the first few months in fact he was what I’d call a lazy nurser.

The main difference between Max’s nursing and the other two boys, is the fact that I manipulated my girls with the first two kids.  I would sleep through the night with Jack and Luke (even if they didn’t, Daddy would give them bottled breast milk) and I would pump 18-22 oz at a time.  On the pump schedule for the first two kids, I would get between 12 -14 oz.

With Max, I didn’t manipulate.  He eats with me and then we are done.  WAY EASIER.  I still have a stockpile with Max, but not as large of one.  Not that it matters.

I’m always irritated if I don’t get to feed him.  Like once we asked the Nanny to watch the boys, we told her we’d be there to pick him up in 20 min and not to feed him.  Well we screwed around and screwed around, and were late.  He was hungry and she fed him.  Not mad at her.  Mad at myself.  I think it stems from, a fear of “what if he quits early and I don’t get to feed him anymore.  Can you tell I’m OCD and a bit obsessed with this.

Another large difference with Max is that I’ve never fed him a bottle.  He’s had bottles from Joe, Grandma, the Nanny, other family members, but never from me.  I would feed Jack and Luke after some point, but with Max, I haven’t.  I’m not a stickler on it. But if I can avoid it, I will.

Also with Max, I’m more lax on pumping if I’m not with him.  I mean that he eats every 4 hours (other then at night) and with the first two I would never miss one or stress if we weren’t on the same schedule.  But now, I’m more lax because my jobs not as flexible.  It’s hard to squeeze in 3 pumping sessions in a 12 hr day.

Max still nurses.  We are going strong and so far (knock on wood) all is well with the world.  My hope is to make it a year…. we shall see.

I’ll keep you posted…..

I’m planning one more post about my feelings on the pros and cons of nursing.