Gratitude

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Amy

Dear Joe,

You are traveling again. Oh, how I dread when this happens.

I’m what some would call clingy, needy, a spaz. I’d like to think I’m just thrilled to be near you at any time, for as long as I can be. I adore you. You are my very best friend.

That said, I think I’ve finally figured out the reason this job has required you to travel. Other then the obvious need for the work . I think God is challenging me to learn more independence from you. Having you gone this time, I was almost smug with confidence. I was able to drop you off and not cry, the house ran like a well oiled machine, and I started to think it was you that dragged me down when you were home.

I was wrong.

Yes, very wrong.

When you are home, I’m just lazier (sp?). I let you wait on me, put the kids to bed and I relax. The list goes on. When I don’t have you here to fall back on and share the work, I kick into high gear and the house and kids are better for it.

I’m sorry I’ve been lazy. I’ve been in a big funk, and with the changes we have made, and the new choices I’m making for me and my body, I’m feeling so much better. Happier, more like me, and just overall happy.

Plus, I appreciate you so much more when you have to be away. Thank you for all you do at the office for our family. For the ability for me to be part time, and have such a wonderful work life balance. But, really, thank you for all you do at home. You are a godsend.

I can’t wait to have you back home tonight. Time with you, is the only way I want to spend my time.

I love you. So.Much.

Hard Decisions: Keeping it real.

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Amy

Step into my brain for a moment:

“I can’t believe I’m acting like this. I mean I have 3 healthy beautiful boys AND I was able to nurse them all for decent periods of time. I’m being ridiculous. Look there! Look at the cover of People magazine this week. Valerie Harper has brain cancer. She will die in like 3 months, and I’m weeping/ugly crying over this… I’m just stupid. I need to just blog, but what will people think? I’m a nut case, I’m an emotional train wreck… both are probably true… at least in this moment or always .”

In walks Joe. He hugs me tightly, & I admit my stupid feelings. He holds me close; longer even, then I thought he would. He tells me how proud he is of me. So proud of what I’ve sacrificed for our kids. He tells me there are new journeys ahead. That he’s here for me, and while he’s never done this, he gets how I’m feeling.

I grab the computer, head to the main floor. Turn on the t.v., and type to you. I need to blog. Because it helps me release it. Because if you think I’m nutty, you can. I don’t care. (yes, I do, but I don’t want to know ) This is my outlet, and I’m using it.

So, here it is.

After a moment out with Max, and him having a meltdown, he asked for “this”, (pointing to my chest). “Feed you.” he said. I looked at Joe, excused myself, and for the first time in months, fed my son in the middle of the day by nursing him. That’s when I decided it was time. Time to let go of this wonderful gift I’d been able to give. Joe and I talked that day. We decided that over the weekend we would quit nursing. Here I sit, after my very last nursing session, ever.

Yes, ever.

That’s the other thing; We have also decided to be done having kiddos. Saying it, even typing it, makes me get a lump in my throat & just become sad. The truth is, if there weren’t such risks for me having babies, we’d be having another. But there are. So.Many.Risks. Then there is the guilt. I have friends desperate to have just one baby, or desperate to give their kid a sibling. How dare I be so sad.. How dare I be ungrateful….

But, I am sad. The only thing I can do is cry, and look for the brighter side.

There are many great things ahead right? Like being diaper free, gate free, childproof free. Not being overwhelmed. Sleeping through the night again. We can take different trips and attending sports for the kids will be easier. Tons of cool things. I’m just bad at letting go, I’m bad at change too.

Thus the goofy tears, irrational thoughts, guilt and lastly this post.

Can you please do me a favor? Not that I expect negativity here, but the sensitivity level in this hizzzouse is at an epic level. So, the favor: if you are planning to comment, keep it positive, or keep it in. Please and Thank you.

The Kid’s Bathroom Reno… Final post :)

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Amy

Yes, you read that right… FINALLY. I won’t drag it out into another post. Promise.

Ok, so when we left off, we were here.

Sunday, Joe woke and felt crummy. I had a commitment at church that I couldn’t cancel, and a girls lunch that I did. Joe rested, and later was feeling kinda better. We were both at the point of lets just finish.

I went shopping and looked for things to help make it accessorized. We also had the kiddos hop in the bathtub so I had a nice photo opportunity.

Here is what I found.

A cute crate that I’m still trying to decide if I should paint white, but haven’t. I’m waiting to see how I like it. This will make great storage, and at $7.99 it’s cheaper then many “over the toilet” cabinets that I see.

I also found a frame that was 11×14 but matted to 8×10. Before I paid the $12.50 for it, I tried in vain to utilize frames we already had on hand. I ended up using one, but the other would have had to be re-matted and custom. Which would have been double the price of buying a new one.

Here is a shot of the frame I re-used. In it, I put little reminders for the boys. I used power point, clip art, and apple casual font. Joe helped get it colored and centered the way I wanted it. Our printer STINKS. So, I hope to find another printer and re-print the orange one. The stripes in it are un-intentional.

I also loved the “wash” one, because it’s got 3 little hands for our 3 boys

Here is another view of the wash/brush frame.

Here is an example of Joe and my laziness at it’s best.

We didn’t want to run downstairs to get tape, so we used marking strips. :) This frame will hold the photo I captured of the kids that very day in the tub. More on that in a moment.

We also looked for letters to represent each child, and true form for me, I couldn’t decide, so here is a photo I sent to Joe to ask his opinion of which style of letter he liked.

He stated his opinion, which matched mine, and home I went. We painted the letters white in preparation for the space. Here is how they turned out. Below them are command hooks (in case I change my mind… which I’ve been known to do) and a towel in colors matching their shower curtain.

Here is the shot of the kids. I love it, but must confess that I have another one ordered and ready to get. It’s the same photo, without the black around the edges. We shall see which I like better.

So, take the personal photo, the home made artwork in re-used frame, and add this…remember the crate I found?

Love, Love LOVE. I filled it with things we use. Cute and practical. I can’t tell you how many times I needed a wash cloth. So, there are 3 in fun colors. Since I’m the one who uses the MOST toilet paper in the house, I need an extra always handy. I swear since I’ve had Max, I blow my nose every hour. Then, I wanted a cute jar for q-tips (another must have that’s handy) and so I thought… why not a mason jar I already have on hand. Have I said how much I love this? My only question mark… do I paint the create or keep is au natural? I can’t decide… The toddler wipes aren’t my thing, but it’s a kids bath so they stay

Here’s a far away shot.

Here’s a shot from further back.

Remember the Before:

Now the after.

I will just say that I know I haven’t put all the posts together or up about the basement, but I was lucky enough to make these spaces really reflect me, us, our taste and style (if we even have that) and I find myself wanting to be in these spaces all the time. Making excused to be there.

Now, one more thing.

This bathroom was done on a budget. If I had more money, I would have done the following:

updated the sink top.
changed the vanity mirror
possibly picked a different light. I like what we have, but there were others I adored too, that were of course lots more money.
I also would have added a light (or heat light) in the shower.

We still plan to paint the ceiling, make the fan cover white, and possibly add crown molding. We plan to do the above when the money is flowing more fluidly. Finally, maybe for father’s day, I would like to instal a rain water shower head for Joe. We put one in the basement bathroom, and I swear Joe makes excuses to take extra showers. Luke has tried it too, and is now addicted as well.

I think it’s important to state what you love and want to change. This was things can keep evolving.

So, would you paint the crate? Any suggestions?

Dear Husband…..

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Amy

This morning around 5:30 am, like clock work, I heard Max. You were squished in the middle of our bed; laying on your side, snoring softly.

I thought to myself “I’ll tend to Max, so Joe can sleep a little longer.”

And, I did. I then crawled back into our bed, laying opposite you completely. For your head was at the headboard, and mine at the foot. We weren’t alone. It seems like we never really are anymore. Between Jack creeping in when we have no clue, or Luke snuggling up to the very edge to be next to you, or Max at my side, nursing for a 5am snack. Even Oreo, ever present at the side of the bed.

This morning was different though. You see, 9 years ago this morning, I woke suddenly and sat up. Excitement pulsing through me; like a kid at Christmas time, I didn’t want to sleep another wink. I just wanted to get the day started, for I knew at the end there would be vows, a cake, and some dancing.

Back to today, Luke had a fever, we fretted about if we should take him in, knowing full well that it was croup. We are after all, veterans at this whole parenting thing… Right?

In the shower he went with you, as I paced beside the curtain, we were discussing if a doctor appointment was necessary, and insurance cards, and would it spread. My heart ached selfishly because we’d both have tomorrow off. A rare Friday, together, FILLED with plans to finish things, and eat out at a special place. Saturday too, we had tickets to our favorite Gopher Hockey. Now, what? A day at home, taking care of the babes.

Yes, I’m selfish. We rarely take a night out. I think in the last year alone we have gone less then 5 times. I hope and pray we change this. Not that we are unhappy, just that we need it more. I need to be near you without a little voice asking about how the world works, whats for dinner, and what friend can play. I need to talk of things other then sports for them, bills, work and such.

I looked high and low for a recent photo of us together, and there was one from Dec. 2012.

Other then that, they are fairly rare. Many of just you and the boys, or me and them. :) I also found one from the summer at a wedding, but minus Max.

I mean to thank you for the life you’ve given to me by this marriage. I read recently on a blog about how many people say Marriage is Hard. I completely disagree. Being married to you is Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy. It really is. Loving you and being in love with you are like breathing. They are automatic. The butterflies are still there. Life is the hard part. The curve balls it throws, the heartache of loss that life brings, the ups and downs.. That is life, but without you, it would be unbearable. Something my emotional self can’t even begin to entertain.

So, I say it here, that even though it took us over an hour of being awake to find 30 seconds to acknowledge this special day with an embrace and kiss, and although our plans will not even come close to the plans we made, we will be together. This is all I need. To be near you, to see your face, to tell my very best friend how my day has been, and vent my needs. To admire what you are wearing, to suck in the smell of you, to hear your heart beat ever so steady when I am snuggled up close.

I thank Him for you. I thank you again for this life we have made. And, like the song we danced to stated 9 years ago,

“I wanted someone like you, someone that I could hold onto. And give my love until the end of time. But forever was just a word, a’ I’d only heard about. But now you’re always there for me, so when you say forever I’ll believe…….Baby, you’re my Destiny. You and I were meant to be. With all my heart and soul, I give my love to have and hold. And, as far as I can see you were always meant to be, my Destiny”

Thank you, for living up to what Destiny brought, and for being so much more. For loving me, with all my crazy, for adoring me, with all the faults and lack of confidence. For just being you and being all I’ve ever needed.

I love you Joey, Happy 9th Anniversary.

xoxo

Honey Boo Boo

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Amy

No, this isn’t about that show. But, I thought the title was funny/fitting.

Max is “busy”. In fact, that may be a bit of an understatement.

If it’s not for kids; He will climb it.

Do you see that face? I call it the, “I know I’m a stinker Mom“, face.

But, climbing on it is not even good enough….

Because he needs to bounce, dance, and EVEN stand on all things he’s climbed on.

He doesn’t limit it to the inside stuff either.

Above is Max’s FAVORITE toy. But, if you aren’t careful, he goes from the TOP of the driveway, to the middle of the street in 5 seconds flat. Yes friends, he RUNS in this thing.

He even worries Oreo! (who bravely stands guard)

But, Daddy and I aren’t perfect, and there was one area we didn’t anticipate.

The step from the garage, to the backyard. Max found it, and “conquered it”.

But not without a war wound…….

He will be the reason my hairstylist will have my business for years to come. So.much.gray.hair.

YES I AM!!!!!!!!!

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Amy

I am the mother of 3 amazing and healthy boys. Thankful to God for them.

But if you ask me, Me who feels anyone can be president, Me who knows I’m just as capable as Joe at most things; if you ask me who I am…

I am Amy……Joe’s wife. PROUD TO BE.

Call me silly, but as I said in the post regarding our mini-vacation. We found a little store that sold sweatshirts.

They had shirts like this……

YES!!! MN Nice.

So, yes, I’m very open about my love of this man. I really know how lucky I am. He is not perfect, but is wonderful.

When we left for our mini-vacation…. we didn’t pack anything for cooler weather. So when we saw that shop, and a sale, we decided to get shirts. Here’s J wearing his.

Mine was being paid for when I saw that they put anything you want on the back of them. Since my married name is long, I chanced to ask how much it would cost, and when I hear $5 total, I was sold.

You see I’m proud to be his wife. P R O U D.

Sure, I’m probably the only 32 yr old who gets giddy to get my married name displayed on my back, so the world would know who I was LUCKY enough to marry. It’s been 8.5 years and I still do. I’m so blessed.

Here’s my shirt.

I think this shot captures my love for him.

Summer lovin’ & Pool cool

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Amy

This summer is coming to an end.

My blog is revving back up. You see now, I’m finding I have a bit more time.

Joe and I made a solid agreement that when the pool opened this summer, we would let most everything else go. (other then the necessary cleaning). We wouldn’t do any “projects”, or “organizing,” or work on our house. (we ended up tackling the garage…. more on that later) We would SWIM, and just simply enjoy the summer. If there was a day to be swimming, 95% of the time, we were using it.

We loved every single second of it.

Jack went from jumping in, but mostly dog paddling…..to rhythmic breathing and a front crawl that impresses his lifeguard Mother.

Luke went from sitting on the steps, refusing to put in his face…..to walking in the shallow end and playing paper, rock, scissors underwater.

We had many people over. I think we only spent a total of 7 hours in the pool just the 5 of us. Which was just fine. We loved being home, having fun, and just enjoying being outside.

It was the very best thing we could have done.

My only regret, is that the photos you see above (of the pool), are pretty much the only ones I have.

However, this means, that instead of taking pictures, I was making memories.

If we weren’t in the pool, we spent loads of outdoor time here.

I was THAT parent. Screaming and cheering him on. Watching him pass and score. Just being proud of him.

Ironically, she too became very popular on the soccer field AND in the pool. She couldn’t go anywhere without being petted, or people asking about her. I was even asked why didn’t we bring her once. We love her so. She too LOVED the pool. Often playing the lifeguard role she was made for. Wish I had a shot of that.

Now that fall is creeping in, the projects will resume. Until next spring though, we will long for the steaming hot, smile filled swimming days.

Pish update

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Amy

This is for Liz…..

Remember back here when I posted about the fishes aka pishes, we bought at Wally World? Well, recently the status quo changed a bit.

The day started out craptasticly.

Joe, sweet hubby that he is, let me sleep in as late as possible before he headed off to work. He did this because he knew I’d be working a pick up shift overnight that evening. Love that man.

My plan was to get up, get my food, and get the kids to the park to run off their energy, AND pray that we all got a nap in.

But, from the start, this was not to be.

1st, I lost my glasses. And friends let me tell you, I’m probably legally blind without them. My eyes weren’t at all contact ready, because Mr. M has been wanting to feed every 2 hours overnight due to teething. So, the bags under my eyes looked like I’ve been on a 21 yrd olds drinking binge.

2nd, upon greeting sweet M & picking him up to snuggle, I discovered some lovely “gifts” he’d ever so carefully placed in his bottom region.

After changing him, his clothing, the diaper pad, AND my clothes, I proceeded to get the older boys clothes for the park. I looked at the fish, and noticed that Jack’s was laying sideways, pretty much begging for his last rites.

To be fair, I’d noticed him sporting spots the night before asked Joe if we should worry, but dismissed it because I was tired.

Now knowing that we had a flusher on our hands, I did what any mom would do, and called for back up. Joe said to get him another, and we agreed maybe a seperate tank would be better since they are supposed to have 1 gallon = to 1 inch of fish. Ours are an inch each, and therefore, we reasoned, too crowded.

As I was gently was breaking the news of the pending death, L came up stairs and informed me (and my nose) that he too had jumped on the crap wagon. This was only mildy dumbfounding because he’d been potty trained now for a while, but his stools had been a bit looser the last few days, so I reasoned that was the cause.

I cleaned him up, tubbed him, and still tried to balence a sassy 8 month old (crap… he’s 8 months… hold me), comfort a 5 yr old wondering how in the world flushing the fish would get it to heaven, and still not being able to see much in front of me.

Friends, all this happened in the first 45 min of being awake.

It.was.awesome

We went to walmart and on the way there, we OVERLY discussed the fish and why he may have died, and if he’d get to heaven. Jack also then stated that he was “glad for his fish because it would be with our baby sister and Jesus. I bet my sister is beautiful mom, I can’t wait to meet her. Will you tell her hi for me when you get there? Do you know Tukey that she has angel wings and protects us from monsters….”

Yeah, thank goodness for sunglasses, because somehow a dead fish made me cry.

After a nutty ride in the shopping cart, the fish made it home safely, but not without a quick stop at the park. Upon arrival, karma was once again showing it’s PMS to me. I hadn’t even gotten Max strapped in the stroller before Luke took a fall that required a bandaid on both knees and one on his hand.

Here’s the new guy….

When we got home I made the excutive decision, that I would flush the newly deceased and not make a big deal about it. Thankfully, Jack didn’t either.

While I’m still unsure of his name, here is the new guy. I pray he makes it longer then 18 days.

Bozo aint got nothin on me

Posted on December 11, 2011 by Amy

My Hair folks.

It’s my one vain area.

It’s the thing that irks me most.

The frizz, the time it takes to do, the amount I’m losing post pregnancy, & how I’m worried I’m gonna be a woman with thinning hair.

Here was my hair today …

Joe & I, at his parents house for our annual V family cookie day.

I had brushed it, but I was messing with it all day & didn’t really care.

But more then this… did you notice anything about the color?

No…(other then the mess and need of cut)

GOOD.

Because last Sunday night (after a hard day where the oven went out, Jack gave Max some of his milk to “taste”, and then tried to pick him up and carry him)……see a pattern here of crazy moments I decided we needed more to do so I thought to use the box of root dye to touch up my gray hair.

Let’s talk about the gray for a moment.

There’s LOADS of it.

L O A D S.

WAY too many for a ~~20 something~~ 31 yr old.

And, frankly it bugs me. REALLY bugs me.

I complain about it ALL THE TIME. Just ask Joe.

Any-who, Joe took out the kit, read the directions, was patient and diligent in using it all to cover the horrid gray, & we did everything right.

Wrong….

When all was said and done, I had hair like this……

(forgive the quality, it’s a cell phone photo)

Yes, Bozo the clown called and wants his weave back. (In-case you have not a clue who Bozo is, click here) & that was one of the least creep ones I could find.

Lord knows, I’ve no hate for Gingy hair. In fact, we think Max might be a redhead, and I love that.

But, I don’t know that I can be Ronald Mc. Donald orange in the roots, and Cher’s cousin at the base, if you get my drift.

Needless to say, there were dramatic tears (as only I’m capable of) about “how will I ever go to work looking like this in just 9 hours”, and cursing from my sweet husband about me being cheap and just going to the *&%^ salon.

Crazy as it sounds, I got to work, took off my ~~tool bag ugly~~ winter hat, and it looked almost normal. God heard my flip out, and somehow it “faded” overnight.

Thank you Lord. I’m sorry Bozo…. your hair is perfect… for you.

***Psst. Who says Any-who anymore? I’m kinda liking it. I’m bringing it back fo sho.

Dear Baby V

Posted on June 29, 2011 by Amy

Sooner then I can believe, you will be here.

I’m thrilled at the thought of finally holding you outside of my body, and seeing your sweet face.

Do you have your Daddy’s pretty eyes?

Do you have Jack Jack’s easy smile?

Or, maybe, do you have Tukey’s (Luke’s) cherub cheeks & lips?

Do you know yet how much you really are loved, and wanted?

Do you know that 1 year ago tomorrow, we said an unexpected goodbye to your 2nd heaven bound sibling?

The joy we are feeling now cannot be expressed in words.

I cannot wait to nurse you.

Daddy cannot wait to snuggle, and spoil you.

Jack can’t wait to protect you, and show you all of the “fings” he knows”

Luke can’t wait to hold you close, and let me know the moment you are crying.

Simple put, you are beyond loved already. We hope to meet you soon

Life's little adventures… plus a dash of sass.

Tag Archives: Joe